the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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