Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
