WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
