oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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