ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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