yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
