At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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