No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
