I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I believe in your delicious
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
