i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
