i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
