There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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