I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm passing your future prison.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
