no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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