Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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