Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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