She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She needs sedatives and a leash
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
