Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
