carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
the liver wants what the liver wants
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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