I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
