those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
