i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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