I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
