If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
