I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
