her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
