im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
