Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You were trust falling into bushes
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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