his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
