Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
