I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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