update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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