Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
