Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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