you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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