...so i touched it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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