Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
