We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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