This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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