she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
