so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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