Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
