what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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