I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
