So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
