i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Sorry about my life...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
