I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
No subtext here. People are naked.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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