note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
