reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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