Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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