I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How external is "for external use only"?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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