you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize